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“Can I Have an Affair?”

“Can I Have an Affair?”

Imagine a young man coming to the Imam of your neighboring mosque with this strange request: “Can I get a fatwa that permits me to commit Zina (fornication/adultery)?”

What kind of response will he receive?

I think that shocked and angry reproach is the most likely reaction of the attendees and the Imam; you would hear yells like, “Shame on you! How dare you mention such despicable things in the mosque and, even worse, request to commit it?”

Well, let’s read this story and see how the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) handled a situation like this:

Abu Umama Al-Bahily (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that a young man came to the Prophet and said:

O Messenger of Allah, give me a permission to commit  Zina.’

The Companions turned to him and started rebuking him. The Prophet said: “Come closer.

When the young man drew nearer to the Prophet and sat down, the Prophet asked him: “Would you like it for your mother?

The man answered; No, by Allah. May Allah make me a protection for you!

The Prophet commented, “People also do not like it for their mothers.” The Prophet added, “Would you like it for your daughter?

Again, the young man answered negatively. So, the Prophet said, “People too would not love it for their daughters

Further, the Prophet asked, “Would you like it for your sister?” The Prophet received the same answer and made the same comment. The Prophet went on asking about the man’s paternal and maternal aunts. The young man’s answer was the same and the Prophet repeated the same comment, “People do not like that for their aunts.

The Prophet then placed his hand on the young man and prayed for him, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and protect his chastity.

Abu Umamah, the narrator of the hadith, said that the young man did not pay heed to any temptation thereafter. (Authenticated by Al-Albani)

With this gentle, understanding, and convincing approach, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) sought to empower the young man rather than destroy him. He aimed to strengthen and fortify him in his battle with temptations rather than alienate or undermine him.

Following this Prophetic example is crucial when dealing with the youth as it does not only determine if the youth will commit Zina or not, but most importantly, if they would ever come back to the Mosque to discuss and find answers for their future problems or not.

Listening to the youth, understanding their problems and heartedly embracing and caring for them, whatever the issues they may have, are all elements of the Prophet’s art of empowerment. In the above hadith, the Companions themselves were not able to contain their shock. Perhaps this would be the natural reaction of our imams and community leaders if faced with a similar question.

The Prophet, however, dealt with the situation as a great educator; he drew the young man nearer to him, discussed the problem rationally, and thus succeeded in convincing the young man to the extent that, as the hadith narrator reported, the man would pay no heed to any temptation after that.

Furthermore, the Prophet did not let the incident pass without his unique spiritual touch. Placing his hand on the young man and praying for him must have left an unforgettable effect.

A Youth-Friendly Environment

Criticism does no benefit in such situations. It would only alienate the youth and make them think twice before looking for solutions in the Mosque. If we are not friendly enough to embrace our youth and recognize their concerns, they would look for other environments to channel their worries and needs.

The young man above dared to address the Prophet with his unspeakable request; do our youth feel home and welcome in our mosques that they can open up and comfortably discuss whatever busies their minds?

Unfortunately, the difference between the Prophet’s attitude and that of many of us is as great as the difference between building and destroying, empowering and undermining.

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Posted by on February 19, 2017 in Relax, Sex !

 

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Umm Emarah – a woman of courage !

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

How can we forget her whose name was Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها ? Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها , a woman from Banu Najjar tribe, the mother of two martyrs and the sister of a companion of the Prophet , Abdullah bin Ka’b  رضي الله عنه

She appeared to pledge allegiance to Allah and His Messenger  along with about seventy two men and two women including herself, the other woman being Umm Munee Asma bint Amr bin Adi.

Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها  had two sons from her first marriage by the names of Abdullah and Habib. From her second marriage she had a son called Tameem and a daughter called Khawlah.

The battle of Uhud arrived and there was Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها , the brave and believing woman with a sword in one hand and a shield in the other. Umm Emarahرضي الله عنها  stood firm in defending her beloved Prophet  such that the Prophet  said that in whichever direction he turned in the battlefield he could see her defending and protecting him. Subhaan Allah, look at the concern she had for the Messenger of Allah  ! Where is her concern and the concern of her likes, and our concern? Yesterday Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها  was there defending the Messenger ﷺ, today those brothers who defend the sunnah of that same Messenger with their blood and life are slandered.

Furthermore, Nabi  said about Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها :

“From where can anyone get courage like you, O Umm Emarah?”

After all, Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها  was a woman who gave blood for this religion! In the battle of Uhud she sustained at least twelve wounds. One of them was so deep that she fainted. She also participated in the battle against Musailmah alKathaab. She sustained eleven wounds and her arm was cut. Furthermore, she was also among the twenty women who took part in the  battle of Khaybar.

Her son, Habib bin Zayd رضي الله عنه  , was martyred by Musailmah alKathaab and her other son, Abdullah bin Zayd  رضي الله عنه  became a martyr in the battle of Harrat and the giving of life for the Religion of Allah hasn’t stopped today, just look to our honorable brothers in Afghanistan and Syria for example.

وَلَا تَقُولُوا لِمَنْ يُقْتَلُ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ أَمْوَاتٌ ۚ بَلْ أَحْيَاءٌ وَلَٰكِنْ لَا تَشْعُرُونَ

And do not say about those who are killed in the way of Allah, “They are dead.” Rather, they are alive, but you perceive [it] not.

Surah Baqarah, verse 154

So, not only was Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها a woman of great courage but she also the mother of men who sacrificed themselves for the Religion of Allah.

All the while the disbelievers today continue to parrot their propaganda against the woman of Islam even though among her predecessors were women who sacrificed their blood for the very religion which is supposedly an “oppression” for women.

They foolishly continue in trying to force the Muslim woman into believing that she is either oppressed by somebody else or that she is oppressing herself.

Anyway, may Allah allow us to walk in the footsteps of those great men and women from our Islamic history, ameen. We do not need other female role models which the West puts forth for its women, we do not need to take inspiration from makeup covered, mini-skirt wearing pop-stars or actresses. When noble female companions the likes of Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها decorate the pages of our history, why do we look to disbelieving women for inspiration? We only embarrass ourselves by doing so.

May Allah be pleased with Umm Emarah and make us like her, ameen.

“O Allah! Make this family my friends in Paradise.”
-Nabi Muhammad

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم How can we forget her whose name was Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها ? Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها , a woman from Banu Najjar tribe, the mother of two martyrs and the sister of a companion of the Prophet , Abdullah bin Ka’b رضي الله عنه She appeared to pledge allegiance to […]

via Umm Emarah رضي الله عنها- a woman of courage — Bintul Ummah

 
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Posted by on December 30, 2016 in Relax, Sex !

 

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Wearing hijab helps body confidence

British Muslim women who wear the hijab feel generally better about their body image than those who don’t wear the hijab suggests research published in the British Journal of Psychology.

The research, conducted by Dr Viren Swami from the University of Westminster and colleagues looked at body image issues amongst British Muslim women.

Dr Swami explained: “In the West anxiety about body image, for women, is so prevalent it’s considered normal. This study aimed to explore how these attitudes differ within a British Muslim community.”

A total of 587 Muslim women aged from 18 to 70 years from London participated in a number of tests. From this group 218 women stated they never used the hijab and 369 women said they used some form of the hijab at least now and then.

Participants undertook a number of questionnaires that asked them to rate their own feelings of body dissatisfaction, how much pressure the media put on them to be attractive and how religious they were. They were also asked to match their own figure to a set of female silhouette images that ranged from emaciated to obese.

The results showed that women who wore the hijab generally had a more positive body image, were less influenced by the media’s beauty ideals and placed less importance on appearance.

Dr Swami said: “Although the results showed only a small difference between those who wear or don’t wear the hijab it does suggest the hijab offers Muslim women a small protective effect in terms of feeling positive about their body image. It appears that those who choose to wear it are better able to distance themselves from the Western thin ideal.

“These results may have useful implications for intervention programmes aimed at promoting healthier body image among Muslim women in the West. For example, by identifying those aspects of hijab use that are associated with more positive body appreciation in future studies, it might be possible to isolate factors that can be targeted in intervention programmes.”

The journal, entitled “Is the Hijab Protective? An Investigation of Body Image and Related Constructs Among British Muslim Women”, can be accessed here.

The Society publishes 11 academic journal titles in conjunction with our publishing partner Wiley-Blackwell. The British Journal of Health Psychology publishes original research on all aspects of psychology related to health, health-related behaviour and illness across the lifespan. Visit the Wiley online library for more information.

Society members can access via PsychSource, our searchable journals, books and multimedia database, developed in partnership with Wiley-Blackwell. Abstracts are free to all, full-text free to members.

http://www.bps.org.uk/news/wearing-hijab-helps-body-confidence

 
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Posted by on September 25, 2014 in Sex !

 

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Circumcision should be offered ‘like vaccines’ to the parents of baby boys, new study

  • The health benefits of male circumcision ‘outweigh the risks 100 to one
  • Half of uncircumcised men develop a health problem as a result, it is claimed
  • It would be ‘unethical’ not to offer it to the parents of all baby boys, the researchers state

By Daily Mail Reporter; April 2014

Circumcision should be offered to babies the same way that vaccinations are, an academic has claimed.

The health benefits of male circumcision far outweigh the risks by more than 100 to one, according to Professor Brian Morris.

His study found that over their lifetime, half of uncircumcised men will contract an adverse medical condition caused by their foreskin.

Parents of boys should be offered circumcision for their sons just as they are offered vaccines, a study has claimed

The joint Australian and American research team said their findings add considerable weight to the latest American Academy of Paediatrics policy that supports education and access for infant male circumcision.

Circumcision rates for babies in the U.S. have fallen from a high of 83 per cent in the 1960s to 77 per cent today.

Study leader Brian Morris, Professor Emeritus in the School of Medical Sciences at the University of Sydney, who worked with colleagues in Florida and Minnesota, said: ‘There seemed to be two major reasons for the fall.
‘One is a result of demographic changes, with the rise in the Hispanic population.

‘Hispanic families tend to be less familiar with the custom, making them less likely to circumcise their baby boys.

‘The other is the current absence of Medicaid coverage for the poor in 18 U.S. states. In those states, circumcision is 24 per cent lower.’

He added: ‘The new findings now show that infant circumcision should be regarded as equivalent to childhood vaccination and that as such it would be unethical not to routinely offer parents circumcision for their baby boy.

‘Delay puts the child’s health at risk and will usually mean it will never happen.’

He said in infancy, the strongest immediate benefit is protection against urinary tract infections (UTIs) that can damage the kidneys.

Professor Morris and co-investigator Dr Tom Wiswell, of the Centre for Neonatal Care in Orlando, Florida, showed last year that over the lifetime, UTIs affect one in three uncircumcised males.

Professor Morris, with Dr John Krieger, of the Department of Urology at the University of Washington in Seattle, showed that there is no adverse effect of circumcision on sexual function, sensitivity, or pleasure.
This helped dispel one myth perpetuated by opponents of the procedure.

Prof Morris added: ‘Taken together, the new findings should send a strong message to medical practitioners, professional bodies, educators, policy makers, governments, and insurers to promote this safe, simple procedure, best done in infancy under local anaesthesia and to increase access and third party coverage, especially for poor families, who tend to suffer most from foreskin-related diseases.

‘Infant circumcision has, moreover, been shown to be cost saving.’

The study was published in the journal Mayo Clinic Proceedings.

 
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Posted by on April 14, 2014 in Relax, Sex !

 

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The Liberation of Muslim women !

The Liberation of Muslim women !

Muslim Woman: Why do i wear Hijab ?

Click to watch: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=115322415335797

Muslim Vs Other civilizations

Related Topics:

“The main thing I liked about Islam was the respect for women” PLAYBOY MODEL WHO EMBRACED ISLAM

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2013 in Sex !

 

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“The main thing I liked about Islam was the respect for women” PLAYBOY MODEL WHO EMBRACED ISLAM

Related topics:

‘Islam is about real love, not just lust’: The party girl who’s embraced Islam !

Where are the women in Islam??

Why are so many Women converting to Islam?

Western women on a journey of faith

French rapper stuns fans with Islam and hijab

Why European women are turning to Islam

 
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Posted by on November 6, 2012 in Relax, Sex !, Video

 

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‘Islam is about real love, not just lust’: The party girl who’s embraced Islam !

Her conversion from Ibiza party girl to hijab-wearing Muslim in barely three months may well raise a few eyebrows – and she admits that her friends probably think it’s another one of her fads.

But trainee teacher Heather Matthews, 27, says Islam has brought her ‘love and happiness’ that she never found in her old ‘shallow’ lifestyle.

Mrs Matthews, a mother of two, converted to the faith four weeks ago – two months after returning from a holiday in Ibiza. And she says that the photographs of the ‘old her’ taken on that trip show all that is wrong with Western images of beauty.

New faith: Heather Matthews, with daughters Ellah, 5, and Halle, 2, converted to Islam four weeks agoNew faith: Heather Matthews, with daughters Ellah, 5, and Halle, 2, converted to Islam four weeks ago

She said: ‘I thought I needed to act and dress in a certain way to feel good about myself. I see girls now and think about what image they are portraying to other people, especially men.

‘It is about self-respect. If you dress and act in a certain way, rightly or wrongly, you’ll be treated in a certain way.

‘Islam has taught me about real love, not false passion and lust. I can even see the logic in arranged marriage.’

A study by multi-faith group Faith Matters found the number of Muslim converts in Britain has now passed 100,000, doubling in ten years.

The report estimated nearly two-thirds of the new converts were women, with an average age of 27 – like Mrs Matthews.

Her path to conversion began when she tried to convince her ex-husband Jerrome, himself a Muslim convert, that the religion was wrong. She was ‘very suspicious’ of the faith, and began reading up on it to support her arguments.

Although they separated last year, she continued to learn about Islam – and identified with it more and more. Then, four weeks ago, she completed the ‘revert’ process. She said: ‘I underwent the ‘Shahadah’ ceremony of conversion to Islam by repeating a declaration of faith in front of the Imam at my local multi-faith centre.

‘I had several Muslim sisters with me and they bought me a hijab and Islamic books to celebrate. It was wonderful.’

But she admits that her friends have been shocked at her conversion to a religion which is often seen as being oppressive towards women.

‘People are probably thinking “Oh, it is just another one of Heather’s fads”. It isn’t. It is what I’ve been searching for during the times I’ve been filling my life with instant gratification,’ she said.

Mrs Matthews, from Preston, has also had a cautious reaction from her family. But it is the response from passers-by that surprised her the most – especially the effect of her headscarf.

‘No men try to chat me up. When I’m wearing the headscarf I can smile at people without them thinking it is a sexual advance,’ she said.

‘I definitely agree with Islam’s principles of not having sex with someone you’re not married to and to save your beauty for your husband. So I think my next partner would need to be a practising Muslim to understand.

‘It is easy for me to say this now, with hindsight, having made the mistakes, but I think I would have been better off with partners who my parents thought were suitable, learning to love them through friendship first.’ Mrs Matthews has given up alcohol, sticks to a halal diet and plans to fast during Ramadan. She has an English-language Koran which she reads daily, and wants to learn Arabic so that she can recite prayers five times a day.

But she will not be forcing Islam on to her daughters – Ellah, five, and two-year-old Halle – from her marriage to Jerrome.

‘People think I must be oppressed but I’m a strong, confident and free woman,’ she said. ‘I know I’m one of the most unlikely people to revert to Islam.

‘It astounds me. But I’ve done it for love and happiness and it has completely changed my life.’

UPDATED: 23:02 GMT, 26 October 2012 on daily mail.

Related topics:

Where are the women in Islam??

Why are so many Women converting to Islam?

Western women on a journey of faith

French rapper stuns fans with Islam and hijab

Why European women are turning to Islam

 
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Posted by on October 27, 2012 in Relax, Sex !

 

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